I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
