so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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