We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
