Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
