i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize