You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
