Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
