I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
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