look no pants
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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