there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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