maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
