the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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