Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
