Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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