So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
