girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
