Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
