Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
