Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
