what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
