I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
