Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
