it wasn't lemon gatorade
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
