Texts From Last Night

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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  happy early fathers day!!!

  (829): View more from Dominican Rep

  im not a father

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  about that...

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  (843): happy early fathers day!!! (829): im not a father (843): about that... http://tfl.nu/tk4z
  Replies (225) Good night (8299) Bad night (73393)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.

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  (507): I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it. http://tfl.nu/rt4x
  Replies (7) Good night (3786) Bad night (856)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me

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  (952): Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me http://tfl.nu/evhv
  Replies (29) Good night (5103) Bad night (1966)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.

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  (201): Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs. http://tfl.nu/3fsr
  Replies (19) Good night (5417) Bad night (1215)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares

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  (832): Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares http://tfl.nu/x7b2
  Replies (22) Good night (6745) Bad night (983)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  then he tried to convert me to islam

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  (203): then he tried to convert me to islam http://tfl.nu/h9gq
  Replies (23) Good night (1556) Bad night (5163)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2688) Bad night (1015)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?

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  (904): Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already? http://tfl.nu/3n3w
  Replies (6) Good night (1811) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.

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  (817): The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride. http://tfl.nu/s0ye
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (879)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.

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  (503): I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation. http://tfl.nu/ib5h
  Replies (0) Good night (668) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.

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  (203): MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over. http://tfl.nu/zav4
  Replies (1) Good night (862) Bad night (1572)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess

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  (757): think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess http://tfl.nu/lfhg
  Replies (5) Good night (785) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (727): View more from Florida

  I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.

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  (727): I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate. http://tfl.nu/o1ey
  Replies (5) Good night (1605) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look

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  (254): I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look http://tfl.nu/jucs
  Replies (4) Good night (938) Bad night (588)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar

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  (615): we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar http://tfl.nu/4o2z
  Replies (1) Good night (499) Bad night (313)

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