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dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
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