Texts From Last Night

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  (905): View more from Toronto

  it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  american apparel?

  (905): View more from Toronto

  try lime green

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  (905): it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors (1-905): american apparel? (905): try lime green http://tfl.nu/6mw7
  Replies (54) Good night (4273) Bad night (722)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!

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  (405): I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh! http://tfl.nu/nhcn
  Replies (43) Good night (5052) Bad night (910)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?

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  (407): Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia? http://tfl.nu/5o5f
  Replies (33) Good night (899) Bad night (12495)
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  (+06): View more from

  We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.

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  (+06): We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away. http://tfl.nu/dvn1
  Replies (13) Good night (6382) Bad night (1012)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?

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  (202): WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT? http://tfl.nu/xll1
  Replies (13) Good night (1796) Bad night (1908)
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  (325): View more from Texas

  The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.

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  (325): The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her. http://tfl.nu/fi1h
  Replies (33) Good night (1715) Bad night (4145)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string

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  (403): I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string http://tfl.nu/a9dp
  Replies (9) Good night (1238) Bad night (725)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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  (419): You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?" http://tfl.nu/acel
  Replies (7) Good night (2719) Bad night (632)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.

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  (+44): I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand. http://tfl.nu/tiko
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (1288)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again

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  (978): No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again http://tfl.nu/wayk
  Replies (1) Good night (887) Bad night (452)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.

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  (435): Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender. http://tfl.nu/assa
  Replies (4) Good night (988) Bad night (536)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.

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  (703): I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING. http://tfl.nu/0loh
  Replies (3) Good night (1017) Bad night (501)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

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  (830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y
  Replies (0) Good night (571) Bad night (352)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.

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  (941): We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go. http://tfl.nu/o8qv
  Replies (2) Good night (907) Bad night (250)
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  (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

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  (+66): Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special http://tfl.nu/nl3i
  Replies (0) Good night (621) Bad night (223)

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