Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.

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(909): View more from California

I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it

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(410): View more from Maryland

hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock

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(231): View more from Michigan

Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever

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19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(850): View more from Florida

I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea

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(651): View more from Minnesota

She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.

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(917): View more from New York City

There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.

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(559): View more from California

It was like die hard. Except with more penises.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.

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