He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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