I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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