People with herpes should wear stickers.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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