I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize