we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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