party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
