btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
