He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
