you turned your livingroom into a bong?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
