i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
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