My hair reeks of homosexuality.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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