adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
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