Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
