I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Randomize
