This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
