his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
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Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
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I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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