i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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