pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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