Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize