another moral hangover. fuck.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
