Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
