Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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