Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
The adults are the big ones right?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
