Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?