Fine. I'll sleep in my office
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect