i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
