Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?