Texts From Last Night

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  (941): View more from Florida

  can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  idk, I had a turtle in mine.

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  (941): can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat? (1-941): idk, I had a turtle in mine. http://tfl.nu/ag7m
  Replies (30) Good night (3840) Bad night (5577)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.

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  (484): I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere. http://tfl.nu/zvpn
  Replies (20) Good night (5358) Bad night (1126)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?

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  (250): Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point? http://tfl.nu/14m2
  Replies (9) Good night (2842) Bad night (1429)
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  (585): View more from New York

  Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello

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  (585): Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello http://tfl.nu/squi
  Replies (17) Good night (1124) Bad night (9812)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?

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  (519): Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator? http://tfl.nu/y95u
  Replies (36) Good night (6804) Bad night (965)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.

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  (920): Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp. http://tfl.nu/avvb
  Replies (2) Good night (1526) Bad night (769)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.

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  (816): It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain. http://tfl.nu/o28o
  Replies (1) Good night (1400) Bad night (635)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING

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  (215): by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING http://tfl.nu/y31l
  Replies (2) Good night (626) Bad night (1301)
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  (435): View more from Utah

  I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.

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  (435): I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry. http://tfl.nu/g6j9
  Replies (6) Good night (1686) Bad night (735)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.

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  (469): Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS. http://tfl.nu/dcv0
  Replies (3) Good night (1580) Bad night (531)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.

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  (318): Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult. http://tfl.nu/kp39
  Replies (6) Good night (1667) Bad night (572)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.

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  (603): I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused. http://tfl.nu/l3qm
  Replies (6) Good night (1320) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.

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  (912): I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe. http://tfl.nu/1u5h
  Replies (12) Good night (2895) Bad night (591)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.

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  (843): I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done. http://tfl.nu/68sv
  Replies (2) Good night (836) Bad night (412)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous

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  (412): I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous http://tfl.nu/3tdu
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (295)

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