Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

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(516): View more from New York

I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.

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(949): View more from California

We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations

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(352): View more from Florida

we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.

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23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
Read it at the TFLN blog
(330): View more from Ohio

I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg

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(678): View more from Georgia

Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"

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(765): View more from Indiana

it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.

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