didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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