True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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