Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
