The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
