the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
