Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Randomize
