PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
