She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
