Who did Billy Mays play for?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
